most discussions on positively influencing others end up touching on Dale Carnegie's seminal work, How to win friends and influence people. Written over 83 years ago, the book touches on a core component of human interaction, building strong relationships. It's not surprising why. Everything we do depends on our ability to connect with others and articulate deep relationships. You cannot sell a house, buy a house, advance in most careers, sell a product, pass on a story, teach a course, etc. without building a healthy relationship. Managers get the best results from their teams, not through brute force, but gently appeals to their feelings, sometimes withdrawing from the reservoir of respect they've built. By using these tactics, they can influence others to excellence, to productivity, and to success. The Carnegie books are great. Of course, there are other resources as well. Most of us have someone in our life who influences us in a positive way. True, positively influencing people is about centering the humanity of others. Chances are you know someone who is really good at making others feel like stars. They can make you do things that the average person can't. Where requests from others sound like nails on a chalkboard, a request from that special person sounds like music to your ears. You are happy not only to listen, but also to try. So how do you influence people in a positive way? If you're curious about how to positively influence people, read the tips.
1. Be Authentic
To influence people in a positive way, be authentic. Rather than a copy of someone else's version of authenticity, discover what makes you unique. Discover your unique perspective on the issue and live up to and honor. One of the causes of the influence of social media is so strong that they have carved a niche for themselves or a common problem is taken, and approached this from a novel or in an unusual way. People instinctively appreciate public figures whose persona matches their own values. Controversy bothered us because we crave stability. When someone claims to be one way but lives contrary to that profession, it is signaling that they are confused or unreliable and therefore unreliable. None of these combinations bode well for positively influencing others.
2. Listen
Growing up, my father would tell me to listen to what others have to say. He told me that if I listened carefully, I wanted to know everything there was to know about a person's character, wants and needs. To positively influence other people, you must listen to what is said and what is left unsaid. This is the explanation for the fact that people are needed in order to feel normal, supported and seen. If a person feels they are invisible and invisible to their leaders, they are less likely to be positively influenced by that person. Play satisfies a person's primary need for Inspection and Acceptance. Take a look at this guide on how to be a better listener: how to practice active listening (step by step guide)
3. Become an expert
Most people are predisposed to listen to, if not respect, authority. If you want to positively influence others, become an authority in the area in which you seek to lead others. Research and read everything you can about the topic, then look for opportunities to put your education into practice. You may disagree. You cannot argue, or it is unwise to argue, over facts and experts with facts.
4. Lead with History
Having worked in the public relations space for several years, I know that personal stories, testimonials, and impact stories are incredibly powerful. But I never cease to be amazed at how effective a timely and told story can be. If you want to influence people, learn how to tell stories. Your stories should be related to the issue or concept you are discussing. They should be an analogy or metaphor that explains your topic in common terms and in vivid detail. To learn more about how to tell powerful stories and the ethics of storytelling, take a look at this article: How to Tell a Great Story in 4 Easy Steps
5. Example
It's incredibly inspiring to watch passionate, talented people at work or play. One of the reasons why a non-athlete person might be in awe of athletic prowess is because human nature values the extraordinary. When we watch the Olympic Games, Olympic Games, competitions, gymnastics, skating and other sports, we can observe the efforts of people who give their all every day. From the ASE to the point: Simona Biley. The virtuoso gymnast won her 6th all-around title at the US Gymnastics Championships with a triple-double. She was the first woman to do so. Watching her gave me chills. Even non-gymnasts and non-competitive athletes can appreciate the talent required to pull off such a remarkable feat. We celebrate outstanding achievements and believe that their example is proof that we, too, can do something great, even if it's not an Olympic qualifier. To influence people in a positive way, we must lead by example, lead with intent, and execute with excellence.
6. Catch People Doing Good
A powerful way to influence people in a positive way is to catch people doing good. Instead of looking for problems, look for success. Look for the often forgotten but critical things that your colleagues, subordinates and supervisors have that make work more efficient and enjoyable. Once you catch people doing good, name and notice their contribution.
7. Be effusive with praise
It doesn't take long to notice the wonderful trait of a former boss. He not only started and ended the meetings with praise, but he peppered the praise throughout the meeting. He found a way to celebrate the unique attributes and skills of his team members. He was able to quickly and accurately assess what people were doing, well, give them and their colleagues. The meetings weren't just an excuse to go through the "to do" list, they were opportunities to celebrate accomplishments, no matter how small they were.
8. Be Kind, Not Right
I'll be with you; it's a difficult thing. It's easy to get caught up in a cycle of proving yourself. For people who lack confidence, or people who put other people's opinions first, being right is important. The validation that comes with is perceived as "right" for the ego. But in striving to be “right,” we can offend other people. Once we have offended someone rudely, it is much more difficult to get them to listen to what we are trying to influence them to do. The antidote to influence others through bullying prioritizes kindness over justice. You can be kind and still stand your ground. For example, many people think that others need them to validate their experience. If the person doesn't see the situations you're facing as you see them, you get frustrated. But your experience is your experience. If you and your friends go out to eat and you get food poisoning, you don't need your friends, accepting that food is served in a restaurant was problematic for you. Your own experience of getting food poisoning is all the verification you need. Therefore, taking the time to be right is essentially wasted, and if you were unkind in order to test your food-poison experience, now you've really lost points.
9. Understand a person's logical, emotional and cooperative must
The Center for Creative Leadership states that the best way to influence others is to address your logical, emotional, and cooperative needs. Their logical necessity is their rational and educational needs. Their emotional need is information that touches them in a deeply personal way. The cooperative need is to understand the level of cooperation of different people and then offer it accordingly. The trick with this system is to understand that different people need different things. For some people, the strong emotional appeal will outweigh the logical explanations. For others, having the ability to work together will allow you to change the emotional connection. If you know your audience, you will know they are needed in order to have a positive impact. If you have limited information about the people you are trying to influence, you will be ineffective.
10. Understand Your Streak
If you want to positively influence others, work from within your sphere of influence. Work from your place of expertise. Leave everything else to others. Gone are the days when being a jack of all trades is celebrated. Most people appreciate brands that understand their target audience and then bet on what that audience wants. When you focus on what is uniquely gifted and skilled, and then offer that gift to people who need it, you are likely to be more effective. This efficiency is attractive. You cannot positively influence others if you are more concerned with what others do well and what you do well.
Final Thoughts
Influencing people is about centering your humanity. If you want to positively influence other people, focus on how you communicate and improve your relationship with yourself first. It's hard to influence others if you're still trying to figure out how to communicate with yourself.
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