Matt before: Goodbye utility property, hello convertible sedan

Vauxhall Insignia Country Tourer - parked in mud

The usefulness of the Country Tourer is not reflected in its sales

Vauxhall hacked the country's Insignia Tourer as Volkswagen launched the T-ROC Convertible. What does this say about car buyers?

Siri, give me an allegory of the state-owned British car buyers.”

"Certainly. Vauxhall has been hacked to death by the Country Insignia Tourer, and Volkswagen is a T-ROC convertible.”

Frankly, I did not expect. Every time I open a newspaper that is too common for my constitution these days, I am told that we are all, in fact, doomed. Goody lollipops.

Twilight: ideal conditions in which own, frankly, Toyota Hilux. Failing that, the ideal option for the humble country dweller with access to a low but somewhat limited company car scheme would be the Vauxhall Insignia Country Tourer.

Country Tourer is perfect for modern life. It looks like a normal station wagon. This is for anonymous. It's like an airport hotel room without mirrors. He doesn't say anything about his keeper, thus making them a target for no one's poison.

No one would be passive-aggressive anti-urban SUV windshield sticker, and yet it's taller than a normal car and rides on soft tires, so it's pothole-proof that the cost of local advice - that means you and me - is more than 1 a billion pounds a year in compensation. It's also very spacious, and you should never but never underestimate the benefits of a large flat-floor trunk - perhaps even a washable insert - in the face of a looming crisis.

And besides all that, he has a Vauxhall badge on it: so why do you care what badge she has at a time like this? It's the perfect car for harsh, anxious, changeable, unpredictable, crises-driven times. Naturally, then, Vauxhall plotted to sell only 24 of them last year.

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So it's been taken off the market. Compare and contrast, then, with the new Volkswagen T-ROC Convertible. If we must. And I'm afraid we should.

It will go on sale next year and was created partly due to demand in the UK. Is there a new car that you least buy, I wonder? If you made a list of the types of cars that someone who really loves cars would most likely walk into a dealership and place a deposit on, how high do you think the phrase 'mainstream compact crossover with a fully retractable roof' would be given? Would it be higher than the last one?

And yet we are here. To which is so stylish old product, Golf Convertible, or perhaps that nostalgia car running on an alternative, Beetle Convertible, is a spoon, it is an aberration, sidecar.

Tall, short and heavy, most likely with little boot space and limited rear seat space, this is an impractical car with a large frontal area. It's a frivolous proposal from a company whose latest hits include hidden air pollution, landmark views, fines and prison authorities. Unsurprisingly, there won't be a diesel version. But pass me these anti-urban SUV stickers anyway. All of them please.

And yet, I sighed, somehow I do not mind.

It's none of my business, but if someone likes it, they'll at least find interesting cars - it's better not to. And I guess it's not that badly built. The roof even, which is nice.

This is a car for more upbeat than its badge, or what I've heard about 2019 suggest. But if we didn't want such machines for sunnier, happier times, they wouldn't have made it. So that's the optimism that made it possible. And if for no other reason than that, I'm up for it.

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