How to stop feeling guilty and move on from the past

despite being negative, guilt should be used as a sign or stimulus to improve emotional intelligence and mental health. However, this should not be used as a means of motivation. ((Academia in Australia: guilt and shame and their impact on motivation)) Guilt, which works as a biochemical reaction in the case of a bad outcome, is a negative mental energy (negative emotion), a recurring feeling of remorse about doing something wrong or not doing something. Consequently, there is an internal conflict that affects self-esteem, leaving a sense of danger, which entails a lack of control over actions. Remorse ensues as a consequence, leading to an internal self-sustaining form of punishment that has a humiliating effect on mental health, like anxiety, doubt, and an inferiority complex. No wonder self-confidence is destroyed when guilt cannot be handled properly. Obviously, we want to avoid this and learn not to feel guilty, but let the guilt initiate the challenge for righteous action and self-improvement. In this article, we will apply the 4 steps and practice of turning guilt into a positive outcome, understanding its dynamic structure as an emotion and gaining knowledge on how to never feel guilty again. No matter how many statistics or studies we read about the different types of wine that have been classified and what type of wine we feel, nothing can help the fact that wine has to be addressed and resolved because its feeling is there (but not quite present). Guilt needs to be approached with the idea of ​​reducing the pressure of anxiety and insecurity created through the big question. "What I've done?" Let's approach it right now and explore deeper into this knowledge.

Step 1: Put the Guilt Where It Belongs

You must have wondered “how long does it take to get rid of guilt? Answer: you can spend your whole life or just for one minute - it's a matter of understanding the origin and nature of guilt, and your decision on how to deal with stress. The approach begins with the understanding that the origin of guilt belongs to the past. Every time we feel guilty, we restore the memory of the lost events. For example, let's say you are in a calm state of mind where all of a sudden, someone accuses you of something you (or didn't) do some time ago. Right there, there is (co)guilt, confusion and frustration you feel. Since the origin of guilt lies in the past, we want to sort out the past to our advantage, not stay in it. Because when we do, we feed the dead event (which makes it alive and real) by constantly fueling guilt. Guilt affects us physically and mentally and creates confusion and misery in our presence. The first step to not feeling guilty is:

  • Leave the feeling of guilt in the origin of events in the past.
  • Act consciously and constructively – in the present.

This will raise the pressure and allow you to investigate and resolve your guilt. You must operate from a neutral position with a clear mind, unclouded by any emotion. Imagine this picture: the house is on fire and you are running to save your life. On your way, you try to save as many people as possible. More than twenty people passed the launch, but only one was saved. You still run around without thinking or feeling guilty about those you failed to save. You see, you are not stuck in the past, creating emotions that are not in that moment, but stay in the present without causing blame on you and move forward and constructively to recover everything that is possible. Occupy yourself with your current priorities! But what happens if there is evidence of direct actual infliction of blame? How not to feel guilty after that?

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Step 2: Improve your reception skills

Relax, there is not a single person in this world who has not suffered or dealt with guilt. Life is made up of mistakes and as a result of making a mistake, guilt is an ingredient of life. When you become aware of wrongdoing, the event is still in the past, it is irreversible and you can put the feeling behind you:

  • To admit your guilt and the fact that you can deal with it. Although this event is irreversible, its effect is temporary and you have the power to change it.
  • Expressing will и courage to eliminate violations: firstly, for themselves, and secondly, to the persons affected by the events.

Not intimidated, not possessing the heroic ability of courage, which is not needed here. We know that there is a lack of courage in today's society, but little courage to put the blame on you and focus on making amends and improving what you have. Acting in this way will enhance your courage and you will be able to notice feelings stand within. Instantly your suffering will cease to exist! You are still conscious of guilt, but no longer suffer from it. You are on your way to fixing and improving things and becoming the “best version of yourself”. Alone, this is a great achievement and an act of accomplishment. Keeping yourself busy looking for the right action will motivate you to figure out what to do and how to do it. And what to do when the guilt of self-harm?

Step 3: Increase Emotional Intelligence

So many times we have failed at things and felt guilty, and so many times we have made others feel guilty. But in most cases, many of us put the blame on ourselves for no objective reason. The more we are blamed on ourselves, the more we distance ourselves from our emotional intelligence, and do not understand the signals of our emotions and other people around us. ((Personality and individual differences: sensitive, but not sentimental: emotionally intelligent people can put their emotions in aside when necessary)) Therefore, it is inevitable to understand guilt as a sign for practitioners to accept and improve behavior in order to increase emotional intelligence. Otherwise, we risk becoming emotionally incompetent. After a meditation workshop in Switzerland back in 2011, one of my clients told me that she feels guilty about global warming and is deeply concerned about saving the planet. She was already living a holistic life, but still wondered how to make her lifestyle even greener. I recommended that she go to a poor country and see the difference between cultures and lifestyles. She decided not to go because of the high levels of CO2 emissions caused by the planes she was flying. She also quit on her way to work instead of taking the train, which added more hours and noise in transporting herself. She suffered greatly from self-harm, misplaced guilt from what she was not personally responsible for. Her internal conflicts made her feel helpless. The specific guilt meditation I prepared for her helped her focus on activities in her area of ​​responsibility. There she worked hard to achieve real positive results and her internal conflicts over global warming came to an end. She was able to use guilt as a motivator to focus on her health and achieve emotional stability. Which made her realize that her actions made sense, and later got into charity and environmental projects for poor countries. Most of us face situations like this in life where we are forced to blame ourselves without asking if we are really responsible for all this blame. I encourage you to take your stand, tune in deep within your feelings (more effective if you practice deep breathing exercises) and find out where you went wrong. In this way, you will be able to balance your emotions and improve your emotional intelligence.

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Step 4: Choose how you want to feel

This is the most important step. How can you deal with strong unresolved guilt? Feelings of unresolved guilt do not mean that you have to carry it around with you, let it be left alone to disrupt other aspects of your life. No matter how intense your guilt, it is all in the past, and its existence should not be a reason for self-punishment. Even if it cannot be recovered, it can be redeemed. We offer to pay off the guilt in any way possible. It is an act of courage and self-acceptance. This one law, you have the freedom to choose it at any time, will make you feel great, honest, faithful and righteous. No one can take this opportunity from you.

“Everything can be taken from a person, but one thing: the last of human freedoms is to choose your attitude in any given conditions, to choose your own path.” — Viktor E. Frankl, Man in search of meaning

As a Holocaust survivor, Viktor E. Frankl understood and chose not to succumb to the negative forces placed upon him. Use your freedom and ability to move from guilt to driving to the desire to achieve a positive result and feel the way you want to feel. In such a case, guilt can be one of life's greatest teachers.

Your freedom to choose your attitude

Remember, the inability to manage your guilt is an obstacle to your emotional growth and it is detrimental to your mental health. Choose the position of a successful person in certain circumstances. Awaken the dormant potential within you that will show you the solution and give you inner peace. Love yourself and use your guilt to grow luxuriantly along with your inner freedom. I would recommend that you use this simple and proven breathing technique: Inhale gently - saying “it is guilt and my inner freedom to motivate me to find a solution… Exhale gently - saying “…so that all guilt disappears.” The tremendous influence of inhaling and exhaling in such a way that when you apply it seriously and absolutely, the feeling of guilt ceases to exist. Realize that you are worthy and capable repair your wrongdoing no matter what. Turn guilt into courage and a real vision of doing something worthwhile again. I salute the spirit in you!

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