When I first thought about how to turn weakness into strength, I thought about the words people use when they realize that their weaknesses destroy their happiness and success. Then I thought about new clients and wish team members who dragged the day the team off of me and thought, “What the hell?” They strongly believe that life and/or creativity is simple and circumstances cannot be changed; "out of your control". Through the magic of coaching, I realized that our shortcomings hide what we really need to learn. So the best way to turn weakness into strength is to get what you want in life. Using case studies and techniques that I know helps. Clients who said something like:
- Why don't I ever study?
- My shyness is holding me back!
- I will never finish my list!
- Why should I spend too much time on social media?
- Why am I such a person, please?
- Why can't I just go for it?
- Why am I so scared all the time?
- Why do I never fend for myself?
- Why do I never want to feel important enough to get into C?
This is your chance to turn weakness into your strength, write it down and coach yourself weakness to gain strength.
1. Find Your Weakness
For starters, never stop yourself from finding your weak points and being very worried. If you are my client, you would understand that I make my clients feel the pain of weakness, that they feel like standing in the way of their happiness, goals, success and any other dream they would like to become a reality. So, as it sounds, making your customers suffer is an integral part of the process of turning weakness into strength, which ensures that you see results. Therefore, start feeling the pain of your failures and that voice that tells you that this will never happen and you are not good enough. Don't hide from negativity. Don't hide from the bad things in your life. This part of the coaching session can last an hour, so that the client properly gets into the brain dump of every thought in front of us. So, don't shy away from every thought, just write it down.
2. Dig Deeper
The first level of pain is usually not enough to turn weakness into strength. We usually talk about the level of lesser pain because, like the beast in the corner of the room, we have an interest in not admitting it and accepting that life as we know it is coming to an end. Working with a trainer will help you not get bogged down in there, you will find the true pain and eat it, but not experience it over and over again. Here are a couple of examples of the first 2 steps so you can see them in action. I want to share my coaching story, volume, not his real name. Tom told me how he wasn't smart and everyone always forgets him at work and at home. Until recently, this suited his life, but now with plans for a further career and travel, he wanted a decent career to pay for it all. He told me he looked around the office and everyone had promotions except him. Someone who would have started 1 year ago already told him what to do! He was worn out, he was pissed off and he felt invisible and unappreciated. In his session, Tom put him down to not be so smart. He explored what this meant to him all his life and how this lack affected his success and obviously it hurts but it was only Step 1, Step 2, I asked him “Am I all this telling how you feel now? » He said he felt stupid and how he wasted years. He looked like he was watching someone get punched in the stomach. He fell silent and grinned, and half grimaced, and I could see the eye, it went glassy. In normal conversation, you would stretch your hand across the table and say something reassuring, right? As hard as it is as a coach, it's not your job to have any opinion, good or bad. The non-intentional nature of coaching helps ensure someone feels safe to say anything.((International Coaching News: the importance of being open-minded in coaching)) and that's what Tom did. We investigated the real issue that made him feel stupid and we looked at what evidence he had to prove he was stupid, obviously there was none. And further...
3. Examine Your Beliefs
Step 3, in which you examine the person's beliefs. It is difficult to accept the fact that we believe that this fact is often only opinions and points of view. By breaking the perceived fact into one's mind, what a person can learn is that there can be new thinking, reactions and actions to get better results. In that we did it by looking at what evidence he had that he was stupid. I tend to joke around with my clients and I used to joke “so how can someone be so stupid, make them work for X, isn't that pathetic?” So, as the question sounds, he said in a jocular way, and Tom went from bordering on punching to a laugh. He is not just facing a new truth. Tom kept talking to me about how, in fact, he was being recruited. He was shocked when it happened. He was not at the workplace for a long time and did not expect. This brought evidence in front of his mind that he didn't even have any evidence that could support this, that he was stupid! If you are looking to get rid of the weak spots in your life and start turning weakness into strength, look for evidence that in every aspect of your life that you respond/act/think the way you think is your weakness.(( ON: How the Most Effective Leaders Turn Weaknesses into Strengths)) However, your weakness is great, there will be areas of your life where this weakness does not exist. Coaching can go in many different directions as it comes through, so here we'll look at some ways that can help you move forward and address your weaknesses. Perfect for When you're stuck! An excellent strategy is to look for that weakness and find out where it doesn't exist. You can then ask questions to understand how it can be so different in that area of your life to this. I was lucky enough to work with an amazing team of people for 3 years and as an organization they thought they were absolutely rubbish in touch. Time and time has come again:
- We get too many emails - if you answered all of them you would never get any job.
- No one can ever do anything here without a meeting, a sub meeting and a half dozen long papers being copied around the place for days.
- I'm not even in that department and I'm constantly involved in discussions and meetings.
- I could finish the job in a decent hour if I didn't have so many pointless emals to wade through.
- Everyone is so worried about making a decision you're getting copied on everything!
Allowing everyone on the team (even if it's 220 group members in one big 2 hour coaching session!) to rant and share their opinions is important, a few ground rules are needed:
- There is no solution for any kind.
- Not looking is wrong.
- There are no wrong ideas.
- There is no such thing as a stupid question.
- And how I love to talk like Las Vegas - what happens in this room, stays in this room - with less cocktails, dancing girls and one armed bandits - obviously!
(These rules also apply to train yourself!) After everyone was allowed to go through Step 1 and get into Step 2. We started to observe this large group, in fact, their ability to be so honest helped them to be the leading organization of the country, because their clients have always been at the forefront of their minds. Someone casually called out (you can hide in a crowd of 220!) “Too bad they don't treat the staff as well as the customers!” Bingo! Such a flippant remark led us to explore the fact that their greatest weakness was actually their strength. We looked at what allowed them to become leaders in customer communication and wrote it all down. Looking at where they excelled allowed them to revisit their weaknesses and understand the strategies and tools they already knew that could help them change and achieve more.
4. Explore lots of possibilities
Never be stingy at this stage to turn weakness into strength. People are not coaching themselves and others when they try to race this part of the process. Our natural instinct as a human being is to jump to a solution. 1 + 1 =…. you've already been answered, haven't you? To really create solutions, you need to create a long list of possibilities. And in my experience, it's usually a lot easier than you think. Let's be honest, if life seems tough and you feel like your weaknesses are holding you back and have been for years, then it makes sense that you're going to assume it's going to be tough to change? Slow thinking is a big thing that stands in the way of finding a solution. So, don't think, write down every idea (however stupid or pointless down.)
5. Examine Your Weaknesses
Let's get personal, I was told that growing up I was too sensitive. It was only my personal development that my thinking changed. So take a look around. Do you really have a weakness or strength that others don't like, appreciate or feel threatened? I have always been very sensitive and my family will say “Oh Mandy, you take everything so personally”. I learned (while I was in my late 20s!) that it was a good thing not a bad thing. My ability to feel what other people are experiencing means I'm much more expressive than most people and I've honed my sensitivity to the next level, which means I can microexpress and actually help people at a higher level, most of all not enough.((PaulEkmanGroup: what microexpressions?)) My skill in my work as a coach , because I am very sensitive. I turned weakness into strength. Ask yourself if this is a weakness or strength lurking in a simple place?
6. Find Your Voice
My other client is Kate, not her real name. The Kate case is a good example of turning weakness into strength. Kate has worked in a large organization and does not mean senior. We had a group day with over 50 company employees. Senior staff are invited by staff members like Kate so that they can relive strategic sessions and look ahead in their careers. At the time, Kate described herself as being very shy. She felt that this would affect her career, as it had all her life. Through the coaching process, Kate found her voice. Setting ground rules meant she couldn't be wrong. We are afraid to speak or act when we are afraid of the outcome. If you think that you are shy and understand what this means for your life and success, you will do everything to stay safe, right? Katya sat on her back, listening and saying nothing. As the session went on, more and more ideas and weaknesses were added to our list of things to explore these days. Senior staff not Breaking down barriers to honesty - I strongly felt that they were more interested in proving they were right, rather than how to do better and overcome their personal and professional shortcomings. Kate stopped that with one sentence. Keith asked, “If that's the case, why did you say you feel like you have to work weekends? Surely if it worked, we would all blame the free weekend?” Where she mustered the strength to speak, no one seemed to know; but with this question, things became more honest. She began by turning weakness into strength. Then Kate realized that she just couldn't stand anything that wasn't about real problems. And in that one question, the whole day changes. Find something that really motivates you, and however big your fear is, you cancel it. Learn more about what really motivates you in this article: How to Get Motivated Every Day When You Wake Up Being “shy” worked in Kate's favor because no one expected her to talk. So when she did, everyone listened! Don't be so quick to assume what you see as weakness. It's actually a hidden power, you just haven't stretched your muscles on! As you saw with Kate and Tom the training process helped them to believe in themselves and start learning to trust that they were enough. So, before you want to change, ask yourself how confident do you feel? Check your trust level here. If you don't believe you can start by turning weakness into strength, how likely are you to achieve?
I'm more of a coach than the more I think social media should come with a health warning. — Mandy Holgate
Too many people go online and assume they are seeing the whole story. We hunt from affirmation and loves when we have to search to find it in ourselves. If you feel like you're missing something or weak, look at how social media, the press, or even your choice of kits will make you feel:
- Do they make you feel capable and ready for anything?
- Do they make you feel inferior?
- You compare yourself to others and think that I am not like that! Am I not good enough?
Trying to be someone else will never work to turn a weakness into a strength. you have to admit that "it's me." If you can't, that's your first weakness for tackle.
7. Stop Procrastination
The last thing I do with every client is to look for excuses, reasons why it won't happen, obstacles they don't consider. If you know someone who can create a billion excuses why it didn't happen and no one was to blame, work on accountatbility:
- Who tell you you're too this action?
- Who will report? Imaginary bosses are great - ask yourself, "If I were the boss, would they be happy with my success?"
Final Thoughts
Life is busier than ever; so again, we can blame the kids, partner, boss dog, lethality, traffic, even sickness for why we don't take action on our weaknesses. But if you go back to the beginning of coaching and feel your pain, you will do everything in your power to stay away from him:
- Do you need to block time in your diary?
- Should you write your goals on your bedroom wall?
- Do you need to set an alarm?
- Do you need an app?
- What would make sure you stay focused on the end result you want to move forward?
And remember, there is strength hidden in every weakness, as Christine Szymanksi said,
“Accepting your weaknesses along your life path you will stumble upon your strengths.”
I would say that the biggest weakness that any of us have to face first is our fear to get started. If you take that leap of faith and follow these steps, there's no reason why you can't turn your shortcomings into true strength that results in the life you want. What do you have to lose?
Additional tips for dealing with fears
- How to fight your fear and stay strong
- How to Overcome Fear and Realize Your Potential (Senior Leadership)
- 7 ways to overcome your fear of the unknown and get more out of life
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