How to Love: 14 Ways to Become a More Loving Partner

How to Love: 14 Ways to Become a More Loving Partner

most people mistakenly think that love is a feeling. Here's the thing, they're all wrong. "You mean it's not like that?" Exhale! “But when I see him, I feel butterflies, my heart flutters, and my knees buckle. If this is not love, then what is it? These may be physical feelings, yes, but these feelings do not constitute true love. In order to be more loving, you must understand what true love is. It's not just a feeling. This is a commitment. This is action. This is the solution. Those initial feelings are butterflies, heart fluttering, and bending knees, all parts of the 'fall in love'. It's like a knee jerk. It's not planned, and it won't be the last. This is a short honeymoon period that ends if the relationship lasts for any length of time. It is understandable why we are confused about love. Hollywood has put a spell on us. They try to convince us that two people can fall in love in a few hours (look at The sun is also a star ) or days (look at "Titanic"), or via email (see "Letter for you"), and many other love spell-binding ways. But this is not true love! True, genuine love begins after the spell, after the honeymoon ends and real life begins. This is great news! If we know that actually loving someone begins at the end of the bend of the knee, then we are ready, we do not give up. We don't think, “Oh no, it's over! My heart is no longer fluttering, and butterflies? What butterflies? If you're in a relationship right now that you feel won't last long, or one where the love has evaporated, or so you think, then you're in for a pleasant surprise. He shouldn't be older! Read on and find out some doable ways you can learn to love, become more loving, win over a partner, and enjoy a satisfying relationship. When you know what true love is like, it will be easy to pull off. You might think this is too good to be true. And that's okay, you can't always help what you think. But here's the thing, it's not too good to be true. You can become a more loving partner by applying the following suggestions to your relationship. Are you ready to become a more loving partner? You are ready for me. Go!

1. Commit your relationship

Decide what you are going to be in a relationship; that you are going to work towards its growth, that you will nourish it to the best of your ability. Without this commitment, you don't have the necessary foundation to build a loving relationship. That's why this first step is critical. If you have this obligation, read on. Note: It's never too late to decide to commit.

2. Invest Time

A hard worker who works 60 hours a week might say, “I love my family so much. I work hard to provide for them." This is not love. Remember, love is not a feeling; these are not words. This is the action you choose to take. M. Scott Peck, M.D., in his book Way less traveled, states,

"... love is an action, an activity."

One of the most important ways to show love is to spend time with your loved one. After all, time is our most valuable asset. You show who you love them by spending time with them. If you want to become more loving, take the time each day to connect with your loved one. You can do this via text, phone call, or have lunch. Be creative.

3. Bring Your Love

There are countless and effective ways to do this. When my husband notices I'm in a hurry, he makes a bed for me to give me a few extra minutes in the morning. If I run out of a certain food I love, he goes into the store to pick it up; it saves the last nothing for me. If he never said the words I love you, I still know what he's doing. Obviously, his actions speak for themselves. Find ways to convey your love through actions. Bring home the treat, wash the dishes, cook dinner, leave a note in his favorite coffee mug, etc. Before he leaves for the gym, my husband takes off his chain and sets it on his nightstand. When he's not around, I form a chain in my heart and leave it for him to find. He always puts a smile on his face when he does. You get an idea. As a writer, one of my favorite principles is show, not just say. In this way, the writer provokes a response from his readers, helps them feel the emotions of the character - this feeling. This works in real life. Take action, however small, that shows your partner that you love them.

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4. Be Spontaneous

Relationships can fall into ruts. Years together can dull the excitement felt in the beginning when everything is new. He shouldn't stay that way. Spontaneity can spice up any relationship. Imagine that you are walking into the kitchen, contemplating what to make for dinner without feeling like cooking at all. Suddenly, your husband comes into the room and says, "Take off that apron, I'm taking you to dinner." How would you feel? I don't know, but I'm guessing you want to jump for joy. Or you come home, see your partner sitting in front of the TV and saying, "Come on, I've booked a table in excellent air" bed and breakfast "pack your bags." Spontaneity adds thrill to any relationship. Try surprising your partner this week!

5. Recognize thoughtful things your partner

One way to be a more loving partner is to celebrate everything your partner does for you. You might be taking your partner for granted without even realizing it. Do you thank them for doing laundry, walking the dog, cooking dinner, washing dishes, working, changing soap and shampoo before it runs out, etc? There are a million little things that are kept at home and it's easy to forget that someone else is doing it. Recognize it. My husband had just showered one day when he said, “Thank you! I never have to worry that I won't eat shampoo or soap. It's always there. I really appreciate it". I felt warm and fluffy hearing this. It made me feel very appreciated. Your partner too.

6. Support

When I decided to go back to school to become a psychotherapist, it would mean a big sacrifice. Eventually I will have to quit my job; come up with money for tuition, and take the time to study. My husband said, “You will become a great psychologist. We'll make it work." When I decided to write healing alphabet, 26 empowering to enrich your life, my husband said, “I can't wait to read it. People will love it." When I decided to cut my long hair, my husband said: "You will look very cute with a short haircut." He has been supportive throughout our 33 years together. This support shows their love. How can you support your partner? Maybe it's a side hobby they have, and wishing them a fun girl's day, or going there for every gig, etc. When you're supportive, your partner will feel like they can't go wrong. It will provide the support you need to keep going and having fun at the same time.

7. Provide Space

Obsession can ruin relationships. Too much of anything can be detrimental to his survival. Yes, it's good to spend time together. In fact, I recommend it, but it's also good to find a healthy balance. By providing space, you are allowing your partner to express themselves in the way they enjoy. Allowing your partner time with friends and family is very important. You don't have to be around them 24/7. In the article 10 Signs You're in a Healthy Relationship Scott Christ, he writes:

"We all need time to explore, reflect and express ourselves individually."

Create space for your partner so they can express their creativity. Let them be without you. I remember they were someone long before you.

8. Take the good with the bad

A good relationship takes a lot of work. The day you married your partner, you probably thought that you would hit the jackpot by marrying the most perfect being on this earth. On that day, you didn't think about the fact that they keep you awake snoring, laughing like a hyena, scratching in the wrong places in public, chewing with open mouths, and who knows what else. You just thought about the trip to Bora Bora, how beautiful she looked in the dress, how beautiful he looked in the tuxedo, and what beautiful children you have after all… But as I mentioned earlier, the honeymoon is over. He always does. And then you're left with the real stuff: stinky socks on the floor, dirty mugs in the sink, crumbs on the kitchen counter, etc. Of course, I'm painting a bad picture. Maybe all this happened to you and 15 years later you still feel like you hit the jackpot. Congratulations! For the rest of you, I understand that there is no perfection. It does not exist. Yes, your partner will annoy you. You will probably annoy your partner. If you want to be more loving, look through imperfections. Find a way to see him as quirky. It's part of who they are that makes them. According to Jeff Auerbach, PhD, in his book, annoying those you love, he's writing,

"We can't change who we are fundamentally, but we can make the best we can with what we have."

And that goes for both people in a relationship. None of you are perfect. Be more loving while accepting the less attractive, and bask in all the goodness they provide.

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9. Avoid Putting Downs

Here's the thing, when you're in a relationship, you know just about everything about your partner—the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's easy to resort to putting downs when you're angry and upset about something they've done. For example, suppose they are late for a movie. It happens. Just don’t start with the words: “Are you late again?! Lord, You are not on time, you moron!” Or: "No wonder your parents are disappointed with you!" Or "it's nice to meet the poster kid for being late!" Etc. What are you trying to achieve? It certainly doesn't sound like you're having a constructive discussion. It really looks like a war in progress. We have enough strife in the world. Do not let him enter your home. Speak with respect. Let love be the motivator, not pettiness.

10. Be willing to compromise

Partnership relations. Often, one or both people involved forget that; they are too self-centered, always wanting what they want, when they want it, no matter how their partner feels. Since all relationships require some form of compromise in order to be successful, the couple must work as a team. It's always give and take; quid pro quo; back and forth between the people involved. "Hey, since we saw shaft last week as we see dog on a trip this week?" And people are willing to give to make their partner happy, even if it means sacrificing a little. The willingness to compromise can go a long way in creating happiness and a sense of well-being in a relationship.

11. Tell Your Partner 3 Things You Love About Them

My husband and I took part in a seminar a couple of years ago. One of the exercises we were asked to analyze was to walk around our partner while they sat in the chair and tell them everything we liked about them. It was an amazing experience. The focus should be only on the good, on what you loved about them, what you admired, respected. As the exercises progressed, the partner reads all the compliments reminded of why they were with this person. It was very powerful, and the feelings created from the exercises lingered for several days.

12. Listen

You might think you're listening, but the next time your partner speaks, pay attention to your thoughts. What you think? Are you really listening? Do you formulate your answer? Are you off? Truth by ear takes a lot of effort, but it is a gift to a person who feels heard. When you truly listen, the other person feels valued, as important as they are. And isn't that the gift you want to give your partner? It won't cost a thing, but the dividends are priceless. The truth listened to the encapsulation of love. Today, ask your partner a question, then really listen. Don't be discouraged if your mind wanders to a spell, bring it back and focus again. Your partner will feel your attention and will be very grateful.

13. Fall of Old Problems

It may sound crazy to bring the past and hurts while as an argument, but couples do it all the time. It's not uncommon for a partner to say, “Remember when you broke the vase and you said you'd replace it and you never did? You're as clumsy as ever!" Partner looks dumbfounded. “But that was 17 years ago! Why are you remembering this now? Just because I accidentally dropped the cup and broke it?” You can see that this can escalate quickly. There is no reason to stir up the past. Ask yourself: “What is the point of this? What am I trying to achieve? Am I trying to fix the problem or make it worse? Old questions have no place in the present. Let them go. Focus on the here and now. The point is to make your relationship stronger, not weaken it.

14. Love doesn't mean saying you're sorry

In 1970 film Love story, written by Eric Segal, has a scene where Jenny is played by Ali MacGraw, says Oliver, played by Ryan O'Neal, "No, love is when you don't have to say sorry." I beg to differ. People make mistakes. It's good to apologize. Not just a fake apology, but a true, sincere apology. Apologies go a long way to repair broken relationships. If you are in error, he said. It meant. Make sure the person understands that you are making adjustments. You are not going to appear weak if you say you are sorry. Not only will you test your partner's feelings, you will gain respect. More than likely, your partner will say something along the lines of, “That's fine. I know you didn't mean it." Make amends when you need to. Your partner will look at you with the loving eyes that you crave.

Final Thoughts

Love is the most beautiful thing on earth. Love is the most wonderful gift you can give. All the heart flutters, butterflies in the stomach, and bending knees, can not replace genuine loving acts. Don't let your relationship be fed by just stringing words together. It takes a lot more than that. He makes a commitment, an action and a decision. Done over and over. You have everything you need right here. This is the beginning you need to make it to the end of your relationship. If your relationship is already traumatized, implement the above tips for a week, a month. Let's see what happens. I see a second honeymoon in your future.

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