After a breakup, life doesn't end. You can see this for yourself by using the advice of psychologists and their action plan. The tips in this article will help people who have recently experienced a breakup and are now looking for the answer to the question "how to survive a breakup with a loved one."
Why does a person feel bad after breaking up
This question has a completely scientific explanation proposed by scientists. According to the results of numerous studies, with favorable relationships in the human body, oxytocin and dopamine are produced. And when the second half is nearby, a large number of hormones enter the bloodstream, contributing to the formation of a feeling of happiness and satisfaction.
But when the relationship breaks down, the production of “happiness hormones” stops in the human body. Then the body begins to experience stress, and the corresponding hormones have a negative effect on almost all organ systems. At the same time, the center responsible for pain is activated in the human brain. Therefore, when parting, it seems to a person that it hurts. The tips below will help you cope with this pain and understand what to do if you feel bad at heart.
How to get over a breakup: professional advice
The first thing experts recommend is that you don’t try to invigorate yourself. You need to suffer a little. If you want to cry, you need to cry. I want to sing sad songs - you need to sing, etc. And you can also shout - for this it is better to go out into nature or somewhere far away. A strong cry that comes from the depths of the soul will help release all the emotions associated with a breakup.
Sometimes friends, acquaintances, relatives appear in the environment, who will say that there is no need to make a tragedy out of parting, they say everyone is parting. Psychologists recommend not listening to them. It takes time to get rid of pain - and everyone has their own.
Don't blame yourself
When a relationship breaks up, many people begin to blame themselves or try to figure out who is more to blame. Parting is not an instant process, the decision on this is usually made in a few days. Therefore, no one is to blame for the breakup - the reason is usually that the partners are no longer suitable for each other.
Find an exciting job
A couple of days after the breakup, experts recommend going to places where it was not possible to go during the relationship. Or try to remember an old hobby that you may have forgotten about. You can also sign up for dancing or something else. The main thing is to find an exciting business. It will distract from longing and help to feel the freedom that was acquired only after parting.
After a breakup, many people lose weight. This happens due to starvation. Further, when the first few stages of longing pass, the person begins to eat more. Many people here make a mistake - not understanding how to forget a person whom you love very much, sadness begins to seize. And they eat everything: pizza, ice cream, chocolate, etc. Because of this, the weight will begin to grow. Therefore, experts recommend moving more - active exercises will help to keep the figure normal at least for a while.
Effective breakup exercise
Psychologists have developed a special exercise that will help you understand why everything happened the way it did and not the other way. Any relationship can be broken down into stages. So, this exercise will allow you to analyze in detail these stages, as well as the stages of a breakup. To complete this exercise, you will need a pen and paper.
Write about origins
On a piece of paper, you need to write everything you remember about the beginning of your relationship. How did you first meet. What was the atmosphere. What did you feel etc.
Next, you need to focus on those moments that, perhaps, at that moment foreshadowed an “unsuccessful ending”, that is, an inevitable break in your relationship. For example, maybe the partner had some kind of psychological trait that contributed to the misunderstanding between you.
Analyze the future course of your relationship
You need to write in detail about who and how you were outside the relationship. Next, think about how your romance developed, what moments were. And finally, write when and how the very moment appeared, which contributed to the break. For example: “a partner often took care of me, but I didn’t need another“ mommy ””, or “I finally understood my strengths”, etc.
Think about the break itself
At this stage, psychologists recommend analyzing the actual cause of the gap, that is, the very turning point. Try to remember what your relationship was like at the time of parting, what you were thinking, etc.
Now you need to write a letter to your partner. You do not need to show him the letter - all this is done only for yourself. Write in a letter what you were wrong about, where you could have made a mistake, etc. Then, in the next letter, ask your partner for forgiveness. This will allow you to accept your mistakes.
Focus on the good
Next, try to understand what good you got out of this relationship. You can also do this by writing a letter to a partner. In a letter, you can thank him for such a relationship and for all the good that you learned from him.
Such a small but effective exercise will help you understand how to forget the person you loved, survive parting.
If after parting the pain, bad mood and depression do not let go for several days at all, then it's time to think about a visit to a psychotherapist. You may already be developing depression. Signs of the latter are usually a stable depressed state, decreased (or increased) appetite, constant fatigue and drowsiness, lack of interest, weakness in the body, etc. Depression has negative consequences for the body, worsens the quality of life. Therefore, it is recommended to consult a specialist.